Monday, March 24, 2008

Make-a-Wish Foundation -- You're Off the Hook!


This is the best Monday ever. EVER, ever! Ever, in the entire history of ever.

I just found out that I no longer have to get leukemia in order to access the Make-A-Wish Foundation to just see George Michael in concert. He is actually going to be touring the United States and Canada this very summer.

Back to breathing in and out of the paper sack.

George Micheal. My dream man since I was nine years old.


I'm thinking about going on tour with him... ok, maybe not *with* him, per se. Not actually in his plane or tour bus or hover craft, though I am certainly not opposed to that. (Call me, George Michael's people, I am a great road tripper! I know all of the best places to stop for pie and flea circuses!)

No, I was thinking I would follow him from city to city and blog about it. I do have the entire summer off. It could be the Best Road Trip Of All Time (TM) -- a quiet yet oddly extroverted when-placed-in-the-proper-circumstances girl, following the best singer in the universe as he traverses North America. The possibilities of hilarity are endless. I could stop in a ghost town, meet some local folk, toodle through a used bookstore, glam myself up for the night, and then be in the front row, cheering! The next day, back on the road, after a slice of coconut cream pie at the local diner, my giant coffee tankard overflowing, my camera battery freshly charged. My Pontiac Vibe ever ready and eager to transport me to the next venue. Ohhh, it could be magical.

Note to John Mayer -- I'm sorry, John. We've had a great run. I loved your first tour through Mesa. I was impressed both times in Tucson. I personally booed that idiot who threw a water bottle at your head and was ready to chase them down through the crowd of supportive boyfriends who bought your concert tickets for their swooning girlfriends and amputate their blasphemous arms. I own all of your cd's and never once illegally downloaded so much as an mp3 of your music. I'd even decided to look past that time that you decided to date Jessica Simpson. I didn't understand it at the time, but now I get it. She's blond and enthusiastic. I get it, really. George and I, though, we go way back. He was there for me that first time that one of my jerk childhood friends made fun of my shoes. He cheered me up when I was stood up. He and Aretha made the most fantastic song about optimism that I have yet to hear -- I know and believe that the valley is low, and nothing stopped me. I'm sure you can understand.

Come, let's look at some photos:

And why not? Some very excellent videos:

I guess every singer from the 80's had to experiment with rapping:

Fast Love:


Too Funky:

I'm Your Man:

Edge of Heaven:


Praying For Time:

These Are The Days of Our Lives:

Somebody to Love:

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me -- Just ignore that other guy.


The sunglasses and shorts crack me up every time: Club Tropicana

The very best television commercial that you have likely never seen: